Life stressors can and do put a lot of strain on a couple and relationships. Whether it be the friction of everyday living or one of the more intense experiences such as a career transition or moving house.
However, what determines whether you move through these experiences with ease, flow and grace or are traumatised by them is wholly dependent on the level and quality of connection already present in the relationship.
If you experience a deep sense of connection, care, safety, support and trust in your relationship, both you and your partner will move through challenging and stressful situations without major ruptures in your relationship or connection. As a matter of fact, as you move through these difficult and stressful moments from a place of emotional security, they will only serve to strengthen your bond and relationship. The same is true for all types of relationships; conflict and tension handled skilfully, mindfully and compassionately can be a powerful initiation into deeper connection, trust and intimacy with another.
If, however, you feel insecure and have experienced misattunement or neglectful responses to your needs from your partner more often than attunement, care and consideration, the emotional bond with your partner weakens. So stressful situations only reveal and exacerbate the already present challenges and tension in your relationship.
Thriving and emotional security don’t grow in a relationship because of the absence of stress or tension. Thriving and emotional security grow with consistent and skilful emotional responsiveness, i.e. an ability to express warmth and caring, offer empathy, honest and self-responsible expression, embrace differences, provide mutual support, engage in shared vulnerability, and exchange affection.
By learning and integrating the required relationship and communication skills, you are able to have new experiences in the face of stress, conflict and overwhelm. It is through these skilful new experiences to old triggers, stressors and dynamics that healing and transformation occur, as your subconscious and nervous system learn that you and your relationship are a place of safety.
If you want to learn the relationship and communication skills, competencies and capacity to create a healing sanctuary of connection, safety, care, support and trust in yourself and your relationship, then I invite you to join us in our upcoming 4-week Mindful Compassionate Dialogue foundations course.
Our journey starts on 9 October with a 15% early bird discount ending on 11 September. Limited spaces available.
Click this LINK to learn more and register.
With love.
Ceferino
If you would like to learn and cultivate the relationship competencies, communication skills and emotional capacity needed to identify your tender needs and reactive patterns, heal them, be less insecure and reactive around them, and instead be more grounded, regulated and centred within yourself, having the confidence and skills to meet your needs or make effective requests to help get them met, have a look at our upcoming Mindful Compassionate Dialogue course.
You are also invited to join our free biweekly Empathy Circle, where you can learn and discover what empathy is, and more importantly, practice giving and receiving empathy, allowing you to be deeply seen and heard in whatever challenge or celebration you’re navigating.
If you’d like to experience a powerful coaching conversation, book a complimentary 1:1 Coaching Call with me.
